It is...

it is breaking something in order to create a wish


it is letting the colors blend


it is loving the warmth


it is understanding that I don't deserve the blessings I have received


it is a shoreline that we will forever stand at as a family, as cousins, as sisters


it is realizing the simple pleasure of enjoying life one thing at a time


it is feeling beautiful.

It is living life, discovering who I am.

Miles

Mile 1: say hi to a friend, think it is weird to see people I know on runs, but like it at the same time.
Mile 2: "don't give me none of your bad news today"
Mile 3: nano dies
Mile 4: realize there is alot to run from
Mile 5: settled into the flow, want to run for hours
Mile 6: glad I am home.

I wish I could write how many miles I have run in my life. I wish I knew how to name them all. I am glad I don't know how many more are left to go.

beautiful fear

I have to admit that I am full of fear. This is something that should not be admitted or even easy to admitt, yet it is the only thing in me right now. This fear is different than ever before. I am not scared of something that will go away with time, I am scared of something that is extremely close. I am scared of myself.

This is the first time I can actually remember feeling my potential, I can see it like the brightness of dawn and don't know where it will take me or what it will look like. I am scared of my potiental, of letting it fail or turning my back on it, of the power it has if I actually use it. I don't understand what I have the potential to do or be, I just know it is there.

But this fear is beautiful because it is real. It is similar to having fear because you love, fearing the unknown but wanting more. I am full of fear, but at least it is a beautiful fear.

The Maker

Oh, Oh Deep water
Black, and cold like the night
I stand with arms wide open
I've run a twisted mile
I'm a stranger
in the eyes of the Maker

I could not see
for fog in my eyes
I could not feel
for the fear in my life
From across the great divide
In the distance i saw a light
John Baptist
walking to me with the Maker

My body is bent and broken
by long and dangerous sleep
I can work the fields of Abraham
and turn my head away
I'm not a stranger
in the hands of the Maker

Brother John
Have you seen the homeless daughters
standing there
with broken wings
I have seen the flaming swords
there over east of eden
burning in the eyes of the Maker
burning in the eyes of the Maker
burning in the eyes of the Maker
burning in the eyes of the Maker

oh river rise from your sleep....

Lyrics by Daniel Lanois