Johnny

So this is Johnny. He is probably the cutest little guy I have ever met and he has also taught me more about being a child of Christ than any other person I have ever met. The family I nannied for adopted Johnny when he was born, and a month or so later there was a custody battle over him. Johnny had to return to his biological parents while the dispute was settled. Johnny eventually returned to his adopted parents just before I started to work for them.

One day when I was with the family, Johnny's (adoptive) parents recieved a phone call from the judge handling the custody battle. The judge called to tell them that Johnny was legally their child and there was no way anyone could take him away from them again. After the phone call was over, the mom and dad came into the living room with tears in their eyes. His dad picked him up and held him close and through his tears said "You are mine, you will always be mine, nothing will ever change that."

If you know me, then you know I started crying too. Infront of me was the most perfect example of Christ saying "Lauren, you are mine, I will never let you go." Johnny squalled with delight as his mother and father hugged him, he was not aware of the significance of that moment, all he knew was that he was loved. Johnny will also have no idea he impacted my life so much but I am so thankful to God that He has given me blessed moments with Johnny.

Blog Thoughts

I have been reading a lot lately. I enjoy reading because it gives me a new perspective, helps me practice empathy and it briefly takes me out of my world and places me in the world of another. When I put a book down, either for the night or at its complication, I notice my thoughts begin to mimic the tone of the writer. I wonder how they would write my thoughts, what words and word order they would use. This is helpful if you are trying to become a better writer because you learn new styles and practice different ways of articulating yourself. It can also be dangerous because you being to think for an audience, you become tied to the way you think and not your actual thoughts.

I know my blog thoughts are for an audience, I don't know who you are but I want you to know my thoughts are real, but they are manicured in some ways. I use spell check, I reread, I rewrite until it sounds right. But hopefully they convey authenticity and I would share them with you if we were having a cup of coffee. I don't believe a blog is a good place for me to share a part of myself that I would not in any other arena. It could become too safe, I would be sharing without being exposed and that is simply not how I want to live my life.

So please know that these thoughts are meant to convey a part of me, they have depth and strength, but also know that you are not the first one to know them. This is not meant to dishonor you in anyway but to simply hold myself accountable. I love writing here and I am honored that you are listening.

Chalk on the Sidewalk

This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to a dear friend.

"I am currently amazed by the power of healing time. Time seems to be a slow drizzle that washes away the chalk drawings. Our memories of creating those drawings will not wash away but the chalk, what I thought to be the unforgettable feelings do wash away. I have wished that the rain would come sooner, harder and more persistent but if it did, it would leave the sidewalk too wet to draw on the next day and for that reason I am thankful for the drizzle of healing time."