Realize

What I realized today....

A dinner table is one of my most treasured places.

I miss Maui, I miss mom and long walks on a beach. I miss being a little girl and having sand in my swimsuite. I miss boogyboarding and letting the ocean toss me around. I miss watching the sun melt into the ocean. I long for those days on the beach. I long to be as free as the five year old with short red hair, I miss the place I learned how to laugh from my soul.

The smell of creosote logs combined with the ocean will forever make me feel at home, feel safe.

If you run hard and long enough you might actually be able to run from whatever is chasing you.

Everyday, everything is in preparation for something. This is not an excuse to not live for today, but remember that tomorrow has promise.

Pecans, apples, feta, chicken, raspberry dressing and some lettuce are very good together.

I am grateful for my ability to discover, learn and realize.

Defining me

W.

The other day I wore a W on my chest. It wasn't because I am supporter of G.W., it was not because I am a woman.

I wore it because I am white.

It was a scarlett letter in many ways, symbolizing something that will never wash away. I wore it for my good friend l o t i who is an amazing photograph and is doing a show centered around society identifying us by our race. She is using her images to help people remember that we are all still "fucked up" when it comes to how race plays a factor in society and our identity. We have moved past law demanding segeration into an ignorant form of passive racism. l o t i photographed me, along with 24 other people and asked us to describe what race we circle when asked to idenitify ourselves. Here was my response:


"I circle white everytime. There is no confusion, it is clear as day.
I am white and those three words have given me priviledge even before
I could say them. It is not something I asked for or earned, it is not
just or deserved. I am white and that means I supposedly have it made.
Those three words give me an unwritten power, a power I do not deny
and do not want. This is how society defines me, a society constructed
by colonial white men I will never know. I do not want to be defined
by someone who does not know me. Like someone who simply sees the
penciled circle around a five letter word."

Check out the show at All City Coffee in Pioneer Square for the month of October.